Are you wearing them or are they wearing you?

I remember I saw this lady (not the lady in the pic above, it’s me by the way) in one of Instagram reels, she looks so alluring, so beautiful, and looks chic in her casual outfit. From head to toe it feels just right. She looks stunning. Her outfit seems blended with her outgoing appearance and I can saw she got her rizz (my kids used this term to called someone who have charisma, I guess it’s one of Gen Z terms). She got +1000 aura (again, gen Z terms).

And then, it came to my mind, why I felt that way about her? And I just remember, my husband often told me, people have to look at you because you look good just the way you are. Not because of your clothes, not because of your accessories. And the only way to do it, don’t let your clothes, your outfit, your accessories outshine you. Meaning, I have to wear something that will boost my appearance but in the same time looks blended on me, not outshine me. People have to look at me because I look just…RIGHT. Now the big question is, what kind of outfit which makes me looks right? And I try to dig the answers from all the sources I can get (I only exaggerate it, the truth is, I find it on YouTube videos). And I came to this conclusion, to make you look just right, you have to wear something SIMPLE. Or when it comes to the term of fashion, it called BASIC. Yes, I know, for some of you, it makes you cringed a little (or much). Lately, that word has a bad connotation, I supposed. As if, basic means that you are average person, or as a Gen Z, my kids will say it : mid. But, is it true that basic is average, mid or even bad? I will proudly shout it out : No, it’s not my dear friends.

Basic is simple. Simple means easy. That is nothing we want to do with our “mid-chaotic life as a woman and mom” nowadays rather than easy, right? Who want difficulties in our life? We already have it enough. As for me, I have to admit it , I just want easy dovey things in my life. So, when I can wear something easy, I will not hesitate to say : bring it on, baby!

When the first time I wear basic, I feel little bit awkward, because back then, I like to wore bold and statement outfit. I always assumed my self have a bold and strong character, so when it comes to fashion I have to wear something bold too, which is a clothing item that is intended to make a statement with its colors, patterns, or designs (I got this definition from google, gotcha). Bold outfits are often eye-catching, unconventional, and daring. That’s why sometimes I got the compliments, Wow your dress is so good, your outfit is so cool. But hear it out again, it’s my dress or my outfit which got compliment, right? Not me. When i think about it again, woahhh it feel so sad. People pay attention to me just because of my clothes. Maybe this is not all true, maybe people also look at me as a person, but still my clothes outshine me, the first time they see me, they see my clothes because yes, it was so eye-catching. So, they are wearing me, not me wearing them. There’s a huge difference between getting a compliment : “That’s a great dress!” and “You look great!” Period.

So it was my mistake to assumed when you have bold and strong character you have to wear something bold too. You can still have strong and bold character by wearing something easy, basic and simple. Yes, I’m agree that your outfit resembles your character, but again, we still can look bold and strong with simple and easy outfit. Because the essential things define your personality and character lies in your thoughts. As Lao Tzu said to us : “Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”

And then, as time goes by, I feel very much comfort wearing basic. Because I already accept the truth that wearing basic it doesn’t mean you have basic personality (I’m not saying basic personality is bad, it good indeed, it will make you out of troubles), but I still want to look strong because I want my daughters to see me as a strong woman, so they will know how to be the one, and so my sons will know what to look for in a woman. Also, not to mention it, actually, basic is look good on me! (I romanticize it). And the most important thing is I feel so happy because it’s so easy not to think much about fashion. They are so versatile, timeless, comfortable, affordable, and can be easily mixed and matched to create tons of looks. I’m focus to it’s function over trendiness and coolness (which is sometimes exhausting, right?). And it means that, you can saving more money in the long run, because it will remains relevant for years, no need constant updates. More money means you can do so much with your daily life or in the future, it will give you at least financial confident, or maybe even better, financial freedom. (maybe, I will write about it in the next writings, pinky promise I will try to make it not boring and not make you yawn).

I’ll wrap up this blog by quoting Mademoiselle Choco Chanel :

Wow, that deep.

Love,

Kirana Sidin