I want to begin this writing by deliver this impactful message from Morgan Housel in his book “The Psychology of Money” :
“There’s an unspoken truth that people generally seek to be respected and admired by others, and that using wealth to buy luxury goods may not bring those things as much as you imagine. If respect and admiration are your goals, be mindful of how you seek them. Humility, kindness, and empathy will earn you far more respect and admiration than the price of a car.”
You know what does it means, right? Yes, true. This means that many people desire respect and admiration, it’s so natural! And some of us try to get it by buying luxury goods (like fancy cars, branded goods, high-end items, etc). But in reality, those things don’t always bring as much respect and admiration as they expect. We can say it’s an illusion. Instead of relying on material possession to earn respect and admiration, it suggests us to focus on how we earn it by having qualities like humility, kindness and empathy. It’s a way far more effective in earning genuine respect and admiration than just owning luxury goods. You notice I bold the genuine word? Yes, it means that it’s organic, deep and long lasting. And in the contrary, admiration coming from material possession, is one of the form of “superficial” admiration and respect. Yes, it’s true that they are impressed by our luxury goods, but it’s not deep and lasting. It will quickly fade away. Poof! Vanished. Indeed, true respect and admiration comes from who you are, not what you own.
It will tied us into the broader themes about wealth, status and what is truly brings fulfillment. Here’s to elaborate more, First, People admire wealth, not the wealthy. People often look at fancy cars or big houses and think, “Wow, that’s awesome!” But the truth is, they don’t necessarily the person who owns them, they admire the objects itself. I know, the truth is indeed hurts. Second, status seeking is a trap! Trying to gain admiration through material possessions is an endless cycle. You spend more to impress others. It rarely brings true happiness. For example, my daughter buys luxury bag to impress her friends. But in the end she feels pressured to keep spending more. Instead of gaining respect and admiration, she just feels stuck trying to keep up. I’ve told you so, enough is enough! By the way, I recommend you to click the link, it will bring more comprehensive understanding.
Third, Our qualities (humility, kindness and empathy) will create lasting respect and admiration. People genuinely admire those who treat others well, show humility despite their success, and practice generosity. I have this one colleague, just call her Queen. Yassss, Queen! Queen is a millionaire but she never brags about her wealth. She treats everyone, whether its’ CEO or janitor, equal with the same kindness and respect. And helps others instead of showing off. People admire her for her character, not because her money. Last, Financial success without arrogance is rare and valued. When someone is wealthy but remains humble and kind, they will stand out and earn authentic respect and admiration. Let’s say, Here they are, Nico and Deva. Both are successful entrepreneurs. Nico constantly talks about his wealth, showing off his fancy and luxury life style. While Deva is stays humble and focuses on mentoring young entrepreneurs through his charity organization. Years later, people will forget about Nico, but the memory about Deva will remains. Deva will always be remembered and respected because of his wisdom and generosity. Deva, you are truly a rare species!
Basically, it’s our ego to show to the others that we are wealthy enough. Don’t feed our ego, it’s such a waste and a trap. What we are trying to show off to the world? It’s a never ending games. There will always be someone richer, with a nicer car, a bigger house, or more expensive clothes/bags. Chasing respect and admiration through wealth never truly satisfies. And not to mention, if we keeps chasing it, it can lead us to financial problems. We have heard a million times about stories of people who go into debt. They do this just to maintain a lifestyle that “looks” successful. So, here’s what is so good about realizing respect and admiration is not coming from material possessions. What is it? Our saving or investiment will increases! Because we are focus on improves our qualities, increases our humility, we feel that the material possessions as a luxury goods is not needed anymore. It means we don’t spend money into expensive things. We can saves our money carefully and even double it through investment! Nice, isn’t it? Been there done that.
You want to be a rich BFF? Just try to add more humility in your qualities.
Love,
Kirana
