“I’m sorry Mom. I don’t keep my promise, and I don’t keep my commitment.” My daughter is crying, realizing her mistake.
The story behind it, I gave permission to her to have a fast break together with her friends at the mall. But when it’s time to have Taraweeh prayer, she has to join us. The distance between the mall and the mosque is very near, can be reached by walking, not more than 5 minutes. But she didn’t show up when the time came. And she didn’t say a word to me if she couldn’t join us. Moreover, her siblings already wait for her to join. As they keep doing this Taraweeh prayer together from the first day, and they loved being around her.
I said to her, It’s not only the matter of not having Taraweeh prayer together. But it’s all about commitment. When we already commit to something we agree to, we must fulfill it. No matter what. No matter the circumstances, was. Because that’s what makes us different than the others. That we are a committed and trustworthy. People trust those who do what they say. If we break our promises, others will stop believing us. But I also told her, do not agree to something if we are not sincere. It has to be that we truly mean it. Because sincerity and commitment are twin sisters, they will come together. If we are sincere when making a promise, we will be growing the commitment in our heart. Because we know that we truly mean it when we make it. In the end, we will fulfill our promise, no matter what. If we make a promise lightly or without sincerity, we risk damaging relationships, losing credibility and disappointing others, or even ourselves. Because a promise is not just a word. A promise reflects our integrity. So that’s why we have to be sincere when making it. It will show us that we value honesty and accountability. Making a promise without sincerity raises expectations that will lead only to disappointment, because people rely on our words. When we don’t follow through because we are not being sincere, it will disappoint and hurt others. When we make a promise with sincerity, we fully commit to taking action. It pushes us to be responsible and disciplined in fulfilling what we said we would do. Because we know that if we are not truly mean it, and don’t intend to keep our promise, our character and reputation will be damaged. And what is good about doing it with sincerity is, that it will strengthen our own self-respect. If we constantly break promises just because we are not sincere when we make them, eventually we will lose confidence in ourselves. Being sincere and keeping our promises builds self-discipline and a strong sense of responsibility.
But, I also noticed that in a certain situation, we can’t fulfill our commitment. It’s not that we don’t want to, as we are sincere from the very beginning. It’s just that the circumstance is not on our side at that moment. No one is perfect, sometimes, despite our best intentions, we fail to fulfill the commitment. However, how we handle a broken promise defines our character. Trust isn’t just about never making mistakes, it’s about how we handle mistakes. Then, it will bring up one more thing, a goodwill. We will have a proper and nice conversation with the person or party we have promised. Because we know it’s important to us to let the others know our situation. And we hope that others will understand why we can’t keep our promise, that is something beyond our control. In many situations, this goodwill helps us make others understand why we can’t keep our promise. Because it shows our honesty, respect, and effort to make things right. This goodwill shows that we still care. If we break a promise without explanation, it can make others feel ignored or disrespected. Back to my daughter situation, if only she explained to me why she couldn’t keep her promise, and I found it was something beyond her control, it would be fine. I will let it slide. I would understand, totally. But at the moment, she didn’t have this sense of goodwill. That’s what makes it a problem. I feel that she didn’t respect and value our commitment. It was also a sign of carelessness. That we don’t take responsibility for our actions.
This goodwill helps our character and reputation remain. People may still be disappointed, but goodwill can ease resentment. Offering a genuine explanation, alternative solution or making it up in another way can help repair the situation. Here’s the truth, people don’t expect perfection, but they do expect respect and effort. Showing goodwill can actually make a relationship stronger, proving that we value the person beyond just keeping promises.
A promise should never be just words, that sounds good in the moment. It should be a commitment backed by sincerity and goodwill. Think wisely before we make promises, as we have to really think about a commitment behind the words. Don’t be that kind of person who makes a promise easily but breaks it just as fast. It’s frustrating. In the end, it will lead us to an unhappy life because our relationships are broken. Surely, we don’t want it.
Love,
Kirana
