Recently, I’m facing this kind of situation which “force” me to make a solid decision. And I’m happy with my decision. As for me, I believe, there is no right and wrong in every decision that we make, but what’s right for me is after I made the decision I do feel happy, relieved and light. That’s the sign. I made the decision because I mostly practicing silent in the decision making process. How? After I believe I already listened (it means I keep silent) and know all the facts, I only wait and see, and then I can continue to make a decision clearly. By staying silent allows me to truly hear others and understand their perspectives, and also provides an opportunity for self-reflection, helping me to understand myself better. What I truly want? What am I gonna do? Not to mention, keep silent also makes me avoid conflict, as it prevents unnecessary arguments and escalations. Also, it can bring self control, when emotions run high, keep silent can stop me for saying things I might regret.
What I love most of being silent is, it really can helps us tune into our emotions, values and goals. As for my case, before I made the decision, I let my self to feel and think, what is the truly matters for me? Is it essentials if I keep doing this? Is it align to my values and goals? So it enhanced our mental clarity, because we already process our thoughts, leading us to clearer thinking and decision making.
Aside from the decision making process, strategic silent or keep silent by the design, can add emphasis or convey confidence in communication. Sometimes I often do keep silent when it comes to communication, whether it’s direct communication (face to face), by phone, or even texting. There was so many times I’m not answering my friends or my colleagues call or text, it’s not that I’m a bad person, but if the purpose of the calls or text is not clear enough and not essentials for me (at least at that time), I will let it slide. It means we create boundaries to make our life simpler and better. (I will talk about it in the next writing).
As a natural talkers, God knows, how hardddd it is for me, to hold the words come out from my lips. I want to spill it out! But, I know I have to learn to keep silent, because it shows we are confidence and competence. Because in some cases, staying silent giving mystery and power effects, silent can make us looks more thoughtful because it suggests we are processing information, rather than just reacting. We are keeping our words carefully. This gives the impression of depth, intelligence, and emotional control. Silent also can make us looks wise (sometimes the best response is not respond at all, am I correct?) and staying silent also make a us looks authorise, it makes us to be heard when it matters. The person is Sigma, if Gen Z may say.
At first maybe we will feel little bit strange when we practicing silent, because it’s not common. More over when we have a face to face communication. Have we ever feel we have the obligation to say something when there’s a pause or gap in our communication? In fact, no one is having the obligation. Little bit pause in our communication is a powerful tools to avoid mistakes in the conversations, such as miscommunications, misunderstanding and arguments. We don’t have to feel pressure to respond immediately, Just embrace it. Stay silent. Process all the words, and speak when the times comes.
Because of staying silent is hard to maintain, that’s why we called it superpower. Not everyone can mastering it. It needs true discipline to make it happens. If it’s easy for you, congratulations and I envy you! Truly, deeply, madly deeply do. But don’t worry be happy, it’s not too late, we still have plenty of times to make it happens, because indeed practicing silent into our daily lives can have a significant impact on our overall well-being, relationship and productivity. I truly hopes we can be someone who has that superpower for a happy, simple, better and a good life!
Love,
Kirana Sidin
