“If you hold happiness above all, everything else must be valued less.”
Those sentences hit me very hard. I read them in a book called Focus on What Matters by Darius Foroux. I couldn’t help but think about them afterward. I guess he was totally right. I don’t know about you, but I suppose everyone is the same; happiness is probably our ultimate goal in this bizarre world. At least for me. That’s why maybe those sentences speak to my heart. I often got wishes from my friends or colleagues on my birthday or on my other achievements, they said that they hope I get all the success in the world, and continue to be happy always. Means that they see me as a happy person. I’m grateful for that. The truth is, indeed, I feel very happy, in and out.
But, as a matter of fact, this happiness isn’t coming instantly. Long before, I also felt not always happy with myself or my life. Even though people may perceive that I’m a happy person outside, since I’m the kind of cheerful person, inside, sometimes I feel despair. I’m not saying all the time, but sometimes the despair is real, and I can’t help to block it. Then, I wonder why, and I’ve come to the answer: it’s because I worry too much about things that are beyond my control. I overthink and overreact. By refusing to accept that I can’t control most things in life, I deny myself lasting happiness.
Here’s the truth, there will be something that makes us worry, in personal life, professional life, or maybe the greater, in this world. Our spouse or our kids won’t stop making us worry and little despair toward them. That’s natural! It’s the same with our boss or our colleagues; they won’t stop until we start questioning ourselves. Lucky you if you have a supporting boss and colleagues, but I know that, mostly, the professional world is wild and crazy. This world is also the same; there are always national and international affairs that will always hang in there to make us worry. For example, Trump’s reciprocal tariff, you know that exactly it was affecting the world’s economy. The stock market collapsed. The first day after Trump announced the tariff (for your information, Indonesia got “only” 32%), Indonesia’s stock market crashed. It reaches the bottom, and the authority has to stop the trade for a while and make a new regulation to keep the market still conducive. And as an investor, if I still lived the way I lived before, I’d be worrying much about this situation. I will feel despair, obviously. Because the floating loss of my stock portfolio is insane! But, I refuse to feel worry and despair, since this situation is beyond my control. What I can control is, I remain calm, knowing this will pass. This is only temporary. Turns out, it was right. Nowadays, Indonesia’s stock market is back to normal. My stock portfolio is starting back to normal.
Sometimes in life, we can’t escape from bad things. The wisest thing to do is to deny things beyond our control, since it will affect our happiness. Dearest friends, I want to ask you this question, please answer it with honesty. What genuinely shapes your happiness? Is it a meaningful relationship? Is it a valuable friendship? The job that you enjoy much? Enjoy nature? Do the sports? Reading a book? Or maybe writing? I’m sure you know what makes you happy. Just focus on what makes you happy, and feel happy with it, since you can control it. Rather than spending time doing something that you don’t like, like maybe talking with your friends about national affairs, that will hang a bad cloud in our mind and not make us productive enough to fill the day. Since, once again, that’s something beyond our control! Everything that is beyond our control will slide as usual without our intervention; we just have to face it! Nothing more! Don’t overthink or overreact because it will waste our energy. Also, just to be frank, it doesn’t bring any improvement to anything or anyone. What we can do is just make our lives better, HERE and NOW!
Start with ourselves. Begin with the small, meaningful aspects of our daily life. Wake up early, take a moment to make our bed, and cherish the gift of each breath we take. Let’s lend a hand to our spouse in making breakfast for our kids. Together, let’s promise ourselves to enhance our lives and the well-being of those around us. I understand it can be challenging, and that’s why it’s crucial not to complicate matters by dwelling on what lies beyond our control. We have to know what is something that we can control, and what is beyond our control. That is one of the ways to reach happiness. Focus on what matters. When we prioritize happiness, we begin to see that other concerns hold less weight.
Love,
Kirana
