“Have you cleaned your bathroom yesterday?”
“Not yet, Mom”, my daughter replied.
“So, since you didn’t clean it yesterday, there’s a payback: today you have to clean it, PLUS my bathroom and your brother’s.”
“Sure thing, Mom,” she answered, head down, looking completely worn out.
My kid’s life has never been easy. They have to deal with daily household chores. Each one of them has their own little jobs around the house. Even the youngest has responsibilities. He gets out of bed by himself, takes a bath, puts on his school uniform, and then goes for breakfast. After he eats, he puts his dirty plate in the sink. He didn’t wait for us to do it. I can say that, for a 7-year-old, he is pretty independent.
It’s not like we don’t have help around the house. Actually, we have two maids. But my husband and I always tell to our kids that they’re just there to assist us. They handle the stuff we can’t get to because we’ve got our own to-do lists every day, and doing it all ourselves would just make us super unproductive. Still, there are some simple chores that we need to do ourselves, like washing the dishes, making our own bed, cleaning our bathroom, and putting our clothes away etc. My friend always says she can’t believe my kids are expected to do all that. I mean, most people think if you have a maid, they do ALL the chores because you’re paying them. I totally get that viewpoint, but we have our own reasons for doing things this way too.
We believe that by putting the household chores on each of them, we help them build their own character into strong, responsible, and resilient people in the future. The chores are there for teaching my kids essential life skills and character traits that contribute to long-term well-being. Why? Here’s the deal.
First off, it teaches kids the value of hard work. Doing chores regularly trains my kids to learn to be reliable, follow through on tasks, and take their responsibilities. That same attitude is super important in school, jobs, and relationships. I mean, we all know what happens when someone doesn’t pull their responsibility, right? They’re pretty much setting themselves up for failure.
Second, it teaches kids to take responsibility and be accountable. They start to realize that what they do has an impact on others. When they get into cleaning, cooking, or looking after the house, they really get a sense of ownership and an understanding of how their actions matter. Yes, these are all the awesome traits that I think will help them succeed in their jobs and with teams later on.
Third, it shows kids how to plan, stay focused, and get stuff done. Doing chores actually is a great way for kids to sharpen their mental skills like focusing, planning, staying organized, managing their time, and handling their emotions well. These are the same skills that help them tackle school, work, and life in general. When kids get good at handling all these skills through chores, they become way better at handling stress and responsibilities, do better in school, adapt well to challenges, and keep it all together. Simply put, every time a kid completes a simple chore, they’re flexing their brain muscles for the future!
Fourth, it teaches kids to handle things on their own and believe in themselves. When kids get trusted with real responsibilities like doing laundry, making their bed, washing dishes, or even helping out in the kitchen, they start to think of themselves as capable contributors, not just someone who relies on others. This builds up two super important life traits: Independence and Confidence. It gives them that feeling of “Hey, I don’t need help all the time, I can totally handle this on my own.”
Last, it teaches kids to build empathy and to think about others. When kids help out at home, like clearing the table, feeding the pet, or folding laundry, they start to see that life isn’t just about them. They realize that everyone in the house has stuff to do, and that their help makes things easier for everyone else. When kids see how tired mom is after cooking or how much work goes into keeping things clean, they naturally become more thoughtful. They begin to ask, “How can I help?” instead of just expecting things to be done for them. This kind of mindset, ‘being aware of others’, stepping in to help, sticks with them as they grow. It shows up later in group projects, friendships, and jobs. People who understand teamwork and care about others usually do better socially and at work.
What? After everything, you still don’t believe me? You should! We might start doing this from our parental instinct, but there’s support for it. A Harvard study that began in 1938 followed over 700 people to find out what leads to a happy life. One key finding is that kids who help with chores often grow up with a strong work ethic and sense of responsibility. These traits help them succeed in their careers and enjoy life more as adults. Julie Lythcott-Haims, the former Dean of Freshmen at Stanford and author of How to Raise an Adult, says chores are essential for kids’ development. By participating in household tasks, kids learn they are part of a community and that their efforts matter. This practice builds their sense of responsibility and provides important life skills.
What can I say? I’ve got this validation to “torture” our kids a bit more! I mean, I just did my homework and listened to the experts. LOL. But for real, chores aren’t just tasks; they’re training grounds for real life. So, don’t hold back and don’t feel bad, just go ask your kids to do the household chores, is actually good for them!
Love,
Kirana
