When people talk about growth, they usually picture the dramatic stuff: a promotion, a move to a big city, opening a new business, or getting fit enough to post a gym selfie with “new era” as the caption. Basically, kind of stuff that makes our Instagram and LinkedIn feeds proud. The “main character” moments. But here’s the plot twist: real growth? Most of the time, it doesn’t look like fireworks. It looks boring. Invisible. Kinda like character development in season one that we don’t appreciate until season three.
Because honestly, growth is sneaky. It’s saying “no thanks” to something that we don’t want to do, without writing a whole apology paragraph. It’s deleting the rage-text we drafted a midnight because we know waking up to that drama isn’t worth it. It’s resting on a Sunday without feeling like we’re betraying hustle culture. None of these moments make for a viral reel. But they’re the real glow-ups. The kind that don’t show up in selfies, but do show up in our peace of mind.
The problem? We’ve been trained to only celebrate the loud stuff. Social media loves the before-and-after, the big reveal, the ta-da moment! Nobody’s clapping for the middle part, the awkward, quiet, tiny choices that actually make the after possible. Which is why so many of us think we’re not moving forward, when in reality our roots are just growing underground, setting us up for something bigger and stronger later. And honestly, growth doesn’t need an audience. If we’re doing it for likes, applause, or to prove a point to someone else, it’s not really growth; it’s performance. True growth is when we’d still make the same choices even if nobody ever knew. We don’t need to post our healing journey to validate it. We don’t need a motivational caption to prove it’s happening. Because the point of growth isn’t impressing our followers or strangers scrolling through their feeds, it’s to build a life that feels lighter, freer, and more aligned for us.
Here’s the thing: quiet growth stacks up. Every time we pick patience instead of snapping back, boundaries instead of people pleasing, self-respect instead of chasing validation, BOOM! That’s another deposit into our future self. It doesn’t feel like much in the moment, but then one day we catch ourselves reacting differently, healing faster, feeling calmer. And we’re like, wait, when did this happen? It’s giving “sudden plot twist”, but actually it was built one tiny, invisible choice at a time.
James Clear calls this the compounding power of habits in his book Atomic Habits. He says that small, consistent improvements, even just 1% better every day, may feel invisible now, but they build into something massive over time. Think about it: investing a little money once won’t change our bank account overnight, but setting a aside a small amount aside consistently? Suddenly, we’ve built an emergency fund that makes us unshakable. Same with growth. It’s not about grand gestures or overnight reinventions; it’s the daily-unsexy choices. The quiet “I’ll put my phone down and sleep,” the subtle “I’ll take the stairs today,” the almost invisible “I’ll pause before replying.” None of them feels like a breakthrough in the moment. But give it time, and suddenly we look back and realize we’ve built a new version of ourselves brick by brick, 1% at a time. And that’s exactly what quiet growth is: the everyday, un-instagrammable choices that turn us into a completely different version of ourselves.
And look, we don’t need the internet to validate it. Clap for ourselves. That calm response? Growth. That guilt-free nap? Growth. That time we finally respected our own boundary? Big growth energy. Or as J.Cole puts it in Love Yourz: There’s a beauty in the struggle, ugliness in the success.” Not every step will sparkle, but every step counts.
So, if you’ve been stressing that you don’t have a big announcement, chill. Growth isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s just you, making quiet moves, levelling up off-camera. And when your big moment finally arrives? Everyone will call it an overnight success. But you’ll know the truth: it was built in the filler episodes nobody bothered to watch.
Love,
Kirana
