It feels just like yesterday, but actually it’s the year 2000, when I glued my eyes to the television and watched this drama about the dynamic and warm relationship between mom and daughter living a simple life in a charming small town, called Stars Hollow, Connecticut. Can you guess the show? Yes, it’s a bit of an age trap, LOL. It’s the famous “Gilmore Girls” with Lorelai and Rory. Back then, I was focused on their drama and the kind people in that small town, and I definitely invested in their love story, for sure. I was only 19, but I love Lorelai’s character more than Rory’s. Is that weird? I find her brave, independent, bold, and free-spirited. She has so many privileges in her life (she came from The Wealth), but she chooses a path with no strings attached, knowing it won’t be easy, and she makes that choice willingly and consciously. I always admire that about her, though she can be so stubborn and have flaws, like everyone else.
And when I think about it again, Rory is such a blessed daughter; she inherited how her mom used money and choices to shape freedom. Lorelai didn’t pass down luxury handbags or a trust fund; she passed down a money philosophy. Rory grew up understanding that stability is important, but freedom and values come first. Even when Rory had access to her grandparents’ wealth later, she already carried Lorelai’s blueprint: be careful what you trade for money, because sometimes the “price” isn’t worth it. Lorelai’s story was: “I’d rather live in a shed than live under someone else’s control.” Rory inherited that resilience, independence, and thoughtfulness about what money really buys.
This is the key takeaway: Our financial habits are a legacy. Our kids aren’t just watching how much money we make; what’s most important is, they are absorbing how we treat money. That becomes their inner script. We can sit our kids down all day long on how to spend money wisely and do personal budgeting, but if they see us swiping our card for every impulse or stressing over bills, that’s my friend, whether you like it or not, the real lesson plan. Kids learn from what we normalize daily.
If they see us fighting about bills → they learn money is stressful.
If they see us swipe a card without thought → they think money is unlimited.
If they see us delay gratification (like saving for a trip, or saying no to something unnecessary) → they learn patience and planning.
If they see us give generously → they learn money is also a tool for kindness.
Kids don’t have to balance the checkbook to feel the financial energy at home. They sense it. If they grow up watching parents argue every month about money, they might inherit a scarcity mindset: fear of spending, guilt around enjoying money, becoming overly frugal, or even compensating by overspending later, living for the short-term high to escape financial anxiety. On the other hand, if they see parents calmly saving, investing, and still enjoying life, they’ll associate money with security and freedom, not anxiety. They don’t see money as a monster under the bed, but as a tool. That mindset alone can change their entire adult life, because they’ll approach money with clarity, not fear.
How we pass on our financial habits to our kids also becomes their identity. It’s like silently whispering to them: This is who we are. If we always splurge to show status, our kids might equate self-worth with material things. If we always pinch every penny, our kids might feel guilty for wanting “more”. But if we balance saving, investing, spending, and enjoying intentionally, our kids will learn that money doesn’t define them, but it can support their goals and values. Just like Lorelai could’ve leaned fully on her wealthy parents, but instead, she modeled independence and resilience. Rory didn’t just inherit money later; she inherited her mom’s framework: that financial independence = personal freedom. So, money isn’t just rupiahs (Indonesian currency) and dollars, it’s a mirror of identity. The way we use it becomes our family DNA.
Dear Parents, let’s be wise and mindful of how we make and use our money. That’s the true inheritance. We might not leave our kids millions, but one thing is for sure: we will leave them our money patterns. Our financial habits, healthy or toxic, become their default starting point. So, the “silent lessons” are stronger than spoken ones. In that sense, our day-to-day relationship with money is the legacy we hand down.
Our money habits are our children’s first financial education. And now the big question is, What story are we passing down?
Love,
Kirana
